Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
