First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
