so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
