I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
