We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
