I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
