I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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