Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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