MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
