if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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