life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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