Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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