y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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