i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize