i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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