it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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