Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i love accidental penises.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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