I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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