so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
