I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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