Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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