chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
