i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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