imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
