MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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