Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
