He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
