I CAN MOONWALK!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
