brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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