If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
