he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
