5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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