I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
vagina is talking i cant
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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