i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
