her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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