I think I died a long time ago.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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