He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
