Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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