Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
