The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize