I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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