Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
