Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
