the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
