I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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