Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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