we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
