i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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