doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
