its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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