Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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