I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
