but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
one might say we're banned from that church
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
