he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize