I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
