I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
