we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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