I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
