After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
