Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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