theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
