Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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