sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
NoShamevember. You game?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
