We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
