I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just puked most of my soul out..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize